Last week I wanted to purchase some makeup and some clothes at Macy's. I managed to find three pairs of shorts and I chatted with a lady at the makeup counter. I felt a connection with her since we were both born out of state and we both shared the same racial background. Although she's about ten years older than me she has a very young heart and spirit. She married early and so that accounts for some of her stunted growth. She shares some of the same mom problems I have. It was cool talking with her, getting to know her a little bit.
It occurred to me that I wanted to hang out with her. When I suggested that we go out next Tuesday she seemed completely open to the idea. As I left the store with my face prettied up I decided to go out clubbing for the first time in over ten months. Initially I justified my decision by thinking I should reacquaint myself with the old haunts around town before requesting that someone accompany me, such as my new Macy's girlfriend. Ultimately I just wanted to go out and have fun. So before I returned home I asked employees at two restaurants, which turned into clubs at night, about their hours and the atmosphere at night.
After I made it home I created a Yahoo!Answers page to gather some courage. I asked how to have fun by myself at a club. I specifically asked for a woman's perspective. The second answer was absolutely golden: nothing but encouragement. After thanking the responder for her words of wisdom I drank half a bottle of wine and headed out the door. I texted my mom and let her know my plans for the night. She didn't say much more than "okay" so I assumed she was fine with my activities.
After arriving to the first clubbing spot I purchased a drink with an open tab. I would end up purchasing four drinks in total over the course of the night. A bit much. I probably won't have more than two drinks next time. I ended up finding ten dollars while scanning the floor for loose change. While sipping on my first beverage tried talking to a black lady who was standing with two of her cousins. They came from Vacaville for a night out. I thought that perhaps I could hang out with them but they seemed comfortable within their little group. So I walked away and happened upon two other women who was dancing.
I had it in my mind that I wanted to dance with them. I would feel safer that way. So I started talking to one of the ladies about my affiliation with a university dance group. I told her that we offered free dance lessons if she and her friend were interested. Eventually I just started dancing and they didn't seem to mind my presence. I did eventually ask if I could dance with them but one of the ladies laughed and remarked that I was already dancing with them. So we laughed and just kept on. Some people would weave in and out of our little circle. And I would dance with them, too.
When it came time for the two women to leave they said goodbye to me and we exchanged names. Surprisingly one of them had the same name as me: Kendra. It was an interesting discovery. After that I ran into this guy who knew another guy I had briefly dated about three years ago. He said the guy still worked and lived in town. So we danced for a while and he eventually left with his friends. After a while I decided to go to the other club to look for some more money. When I got there I used the restroom and asked the DJ to play a few songs. The DJ did not have any of the songs I wanted to hear. So I just danced until the club was starting to close down. Then I walked outside.
I continued my search for loose change and found nothing. Suddenly I was greeted by a somewhat familiar face. His name is David. I recognized him from previous club meetings. I had not seen him in about eight to ten months. I was a little surprised he recognized me. He told me that a former club officer had visited the same club that night. I hadn't seen her and she wasn't there at the time. So I shrugged. He invited me to his place and I figured why not. It was either accept an invitation or walk home for about 20 minutes. David seemed harmless so I didn't mind.
As we're walking I start speaking to him in Spanish. David is a Mexican international student attending my university. He is a grad student to be exact. Initially he seems a bit bothered by my behavior but I don't really care. After a while he remarks that my Spanish is good so for the remainder of the night we speak to each other almost exclusively in Spanish. Now I personally feel that my Spanish is okay and I sometimes cannot completely understand someone. But I'm skillful in contextual interpretation of language so I can get by most of the time.
David lives downtown so we only have to walk for about five minutes. His room is like a dungeon. It's underneath a house and it has some creepy crawlies, mostly a few spiders. I didn't pay attention to them that night. I don't remember all that happened. We talked, he gave me several beers (I think I had about four, ouch!) and we listened to music from his sound system as well as my phone. Eventually we made out and attempted to have sex. He was too drunk to really keep it up so I just gave him head. He seemed to like it. We eventually made it to his bed and went to sleep. When we woke up he was rather affectionate. Kissing, sweet talk, more Spanish, and suddenly he seems to be talking to me like I'm his girlfriend. Talking about how he pays 1k to live downtown but he could find a studio or apartment close by and he could get two rooms for the both of us.
He talks about spending time with me and how I'm perfect and how he enjoys "this," whatever "this" happens to be. I don't know. I admit I can be extremely gullible and this did feel too good to be true. But I really enjoyed the time together. I was a bit frustrated with some of his behavior and not being able to have intercourse. But he more than won me over with his attention. He really liked to hold onto me and compliment my body. He kissed me a lot. I experienced sensory overload but in a good way. I just felt so happy. I just wanted more of "this."
Eventually we did get up and get dressed. He said we could get something to eat. I suggested soup at a Vietnamese restaurant. He drove me home so that I could shower and get dressed in fresh clean clothes. We went to the restaurant and he ordered beef over rice while I ordered a small chicken soup. I could only eat about 10% of my food before I realized how sick it made me feel. I was experiencing the consequences of drinking too much alcohol. My chest hurt occasionally. He waited until I seemed ready before we left. He paid for the food and he drove me back home. He invited me to go with him to Sacramento for the zombie run. He gave me a quick kiss on the lips, a rather chaste gesture considering all that we had done so far.
Actually since we've been hanging out he has always been rather respectful in public. Of course we are friends so I don't expect him to hold my hand. But he generally holds doors open for me when we enter and exit buildings. And we just walk side by side.
Anyway he texts me when he's ready to pick me up for the zombie run. When he arrives I get into the car and he goes to the gas station to fill up the tank. We make some small talk. He talks about a mutual friend/acquaintance who I no longer speak with. I guess he used to date her or something but he still seems hung up on some conflict they had. I offered my perspective based on how I understand her. She and I have had similar life experiences and while we aren't friends I care about her. So I spent most of the time supporting and defending her and he listened for the most part. He also encouraged me to speak Spanish even if I was uncertain or made mistakes. It's the only way to learn he said.
Perhaps my Spanish is better when I'm relaxed. I was not completely relaxed because I honestly did not know what to expect. Prior to our most recent meeting David and I did not really talk or spend time together. Frankly I did not trust him. I kinda hated him. I thought he was not a good person for Amanda, the mutual acquaintance/friend. He once drove me to my former home and I did not want to talk to him. I was pretty cold for the most part even though he talked to me regarding our so-called friendship. I just remember him saying something about his duty to his friends; I guess he thought of me as a friend even then.
He will talk to me about girls he has tried to meet or girls he has had sex with before. It makes me feel like a guy sometimes. I don't know what he expects me to say. Like "good boy, you fucked that white girl." I'm a heterosexual woman who has considered sex with women. But my interest in women is not remotely similar to his interest in women. So I wouldn't say much unless I felt he did not understand the women he spoke of.
But returning the trip to Sacramento, we arrived and got a bit lost. He gave me his phone to navigate our way to the destination. He phone was not all that intuitive. I eventually ended up using my phone with had a navigation system that was easier for me to interpret. Thank God for Google Maps. When we arrived to the theater we basked in the presence of zombies and their affiliates who stood for pictures and waited to enter the building for a movie marathon. We took pictures with the zombies separately. We made the same mistake with each other's cameras: using the video function. Eventually we got it right. He took a lot of pictures of me with the zombies and I think he only got one or two.
At first I thought we were going in for the movie marathon but he said we were going to eat. So we went to a restaurant called Pizza Rock and shared six slices of pizza. After that we walked to a bar and had some beer. We danced until the bar closed down and walked by to his car. I told him I wanted to go back to his place to dance some more. He was fine with that. In retrospect I'm not sure if he already planned to take me back to his place. But I made sure that was our destination. I wanted a repeat of the previous night. When we got to his room he played music from my phone and gave me some mixed drinks. I did not want to drink too much because I didn't want to hurt my body. But I conceded and had two or three glasses of rum or Bacardi mixed with Squirt. It was actually pretty good. Though I do try to abstain from soda.
I asked him why he seemed to treat me differently when we were outside. I don't remember his words but he got more comfortable, looping his arm around my shoulder. I figure it's just the way he is, though honestly I don't know. I don't know if this is how he treats all of his female friends or if he was giving me special treatment. The morning after I asked him if he was lying about his promises or what he had told me. I think he said no. Once again he drove me back home but not before feeding me some watered down macaroni and cheese. I didn't really like the food but it didn't make me sick or upset my stomach. I don't know, it's free food and he clearly does not seem to know how to cook from scratch. This was frozen macaroni and cheese. He really should have gotten the box variety which tastes way better though it requires more time to prepare.
Later that night he texted me to remind me that he was going to take me to class tomorrow. He wished me good luck with my "exam" and I eventually fell asleep. In the morning he picked me up and drove me to school. He waited about two hours until class let out. He drove me to Macy's so I could buy some compact powder foundation and he got us some McDonald's. After that he dropped me off at school and told me we would go swimming and watch a movie in Vacaville on Thursday.
He told me about some financial aid issues he was having. His advisor did not send a letter so it caused his aid to be delayed. But the situation was eventually resolved like I thought it would be. For a while he was considering selling his cars to pay for school and then take out a loan (he is blessed with good credit). He also talked about his problem with alcohol and his family's history with alcoholism. He did suffer some significant health problems because of his drinking. So he is trying to cut back. I don't know how successful he has been so far. I let him know that his problem concerned me.
He also told me about how one of his brothers was kidnapped, likely due to his involvement with drugs. I figured he might be dead but he says his fate is uncertain. He could be alive. I honestly doubt it. It's been three years. Usually people gone that long are dead. But I didn't say much more than that. That's his brother, it's a painful situation. I realize the heart doesn't have closure until you know--at least have a body to bury. A lot of people in Mexico have suffered this way.
So now I am just waiting to see if we will hang out on Thursday. I do wonder if he was serious regarding everything he told me. We are just friends but I feel like we have really connected. But I take everything with a grain of salt. This could just be a summer fling and we won't talk much or see each other during the school year. And I am leaving town in about a year for San Diego. But I gotta be honest I have been horny for like three days straight. I want us to have at least one legit fuck session. He really needs to control his drinking, hahaha. I wouldn't mind if he held me some more and kissed me. Sucked my tits. Tasted my skin.
I need a shower.
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