I'm changing again

2014 has been a blur thus far. I was dismissed from school once again but the conditions for readmission are rather simple. Money is the only issue. So this summer I intend to work between two and three jobs to make enough for winter quarter. And I intend to continue working through winter and spring quarters. I have an internship lined up when I get back from vacation. I am no longer fixated on David. I sent him a rather honest message about how poorly he has treated me and we have decided to maintain a reasonable distance from each other while we work on ourselves. I met a man who seemed like a bizarre mirror of myself. I could see myself marrying someone like him but his current situation is complicated and he is emotionally unavailable. And he's leaving the country for Europe. So yeah. It's whatever. I wish him well and if we're meant to encounter each other again the universe will set things up.

I have a much clearer idea of what I'd like to do for right now to lead myself to a much better and freer future. I'm very excited about life and  I feel like I have some measure of control over things. I don't have to accept shitty treatment and I can leave whenever I want to. It's still a process but I can definitely feel that things are different now. I'm not the same person I was even two months prior. This change feels good. I'm sure I'll still have some hard times and experience some depression but right now I feel pretty good.

I like my ability to be honest and feel things freely. I don't care as much about how people feel. If people don't like me fuck them; I'm here to live my life and do me. I'm not a house for a baby. I'm not my reproductive organs. I am not a puppet for my family. I am my own person. And I intend to use my gifts and talents in whatever way I see fit.